The Tom Green Cherry Milk Stout…

Hey Tom, how ya doin’?  Hey Tom!  How ya brewin’?  If you had anything to do with the Cherry Milk Stout by Beau’s that bares your name and visage on it I’d say the answer to both questions is, “Pretty darn good, thanks!”

Truthfully, I’ve not kept track of Mr. Green for quite some time.  I am a fan, though, and eagerly await an Organized Rhyme reunion* as I feel their sound would resonate as much or more in the here and now as it did back then.  One could argue, Tom’s brand of comedy fits into a niche that is perhaps unsuitable for mass consumption.  One could counter-argue that this ain’t a bad thing.  I mean, do we really want to feebly fart along to the same damn laugh track?  No.  Does that mean sometimes you won’t always like certain jokes or stunts performed by certain comedians?  Yes.  That’s life, baby!  It’s organic and meandering and sometimes the path isn’t paved.

Not that you should EVER compare such subjective enterprises as art or comedy, but if forced to at thumb-point, I would compare Mr. Green to say… someone like an Andy Kaufman.  A lot of people only knew him from his Taxi appearances but hot DAMN did he have some sideways shit!  So to with Mr. Green.  And so I salute you, Thomas!  Thank you for being you.

But enough about Tom, let’s get to Beau’s.  Beau’s is short for Beauchesne, the family name of a brewery out of Vankleek Hill, Ontario.  If I were living and writing on the eastern coast of this fair country I would write no more and already be accused of writing too much.  Everybody knows Beau’s: They’re awesome on several fronts and all of them rad.  For those of you on the west coast that maybe aren’t as familiar, let me just count some of the ways in which this brewery rocks:  They’re independent and employee owned, they’re certified organic, they’re philanthropic both at home and abroad (putting money and effort into local charities & initiatives where their beer is sold).  Also they’re award winning, with far too many to list here (if you’re a counter of things, go check out their site!) and while awards may not be the best barometer for gauging greatness, if you’ve not tried them before and don’t trust my wandering words, seeing a gold medal or plaque perched above a brew should alert you to the fact that this shit’s legit.  Beau’s is rad.  ‘Nuff said.

Now THAT is a gift I’d like to see under the tree!

So to the beer in particular.  I’ve not tried the Tom Green Milk Stout base beer by itself, only this iteration.  This iteration is awesome!  My first impression when gazing into the glass was Cherry Coke.  Then my reality receptors kicked in.  This ain’t no syrupy substitute or unreasonable facsimile, this here’s the result of certified organic cherries being being plucked off the tree and plonked into the kettle!  But still, my first impression was cherry coke.  Then I tasted the damned thing!  This stout was good, almost decadent.  Sweet, to be sure!  Some of that sweetness would be the lactose while the rest would fall to the cherries marinating in the mix.  I didn’t get as creamy a mouthfeel as I have with other milk stouts, though.  Curious.  And chocolate as well?  Well ya, of course chocolate!  That’s the roasty-toasty malts and the nature of a stout so ya, there was chocolate on the nose and in my mouth.

Listen, for those of you reading this looking for a percentage scale or some sort of rating, you’re out of luck.  But if you want an honest account of one man’s experience?  I got’chew!  Seek out this bad boy, it’s chocolate and cherry and Christmas in a bottle.  Also, it’s Tom Green in a bottle.  But mostly chocolate & cherry.  Merry Ho-Ho.


*I know Tom and the OR crew released an updated version of their, “Check the OR” video in 2011, 18 years after the original.  It was fresh, cool & clean an’ all… but as a super-sucker for nostalgia I prefer the OG from ’93.


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